Scheming Up a Dark Krampusnacht

"Scheming Up a Dark Krampusnacht" is a song off the Every Ape and His Brother album Winter Horrorland. It is a parody of both "White Christmas" by Irving Berlin and "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred.

History
Every December, stores in Michigan overplay some of the same Christmas tunes ad nauseum. At the Grand Ledge Meijer store, this led to the receiving crew in the 2010s deeming December "torture month." To make the dreaded season more tolerable, a sympathetic Dozerfleet founder drafted new lyrics to several songs, creating enough parodies to fill an entire album - Winter Horrorland, which replaced cringe secular Christmas tunes with Krampusnacht parodies inspired in part by the 2015 Michael Doughtery film Krampus.

For this song, the original intention of having it solely mock "White Christmas" was scrapped when the note darkening began to sound too much like "I'm Too Sexy." Instead, it became a hybrid parody of both originals. For several years, only the lyrics up to "like the kind where everybody dies" had been deduced. The other lyrics were finalized around 1:05 PM EDT on May 12th of 2021. The song was quickly published to Dozerfleet's main blog, in order to complete the album.

Story
In this song, a frustrated man wishes evil on his neighbors, in the form of wishing the Horrorday Gang to visit them come Yuletide and ruin it for them. He frequently fantasizes about Christmas trees being burned to ash, and various Krampusnacht cliches.