Hilo (Bikeverse)

Hilo is a black 1991 Schwinn Woodlands 21-speed bicycle, featuring in When Bikes Argue and its sequel.

In reality
The Schwinn Woodlands 21-speed mountain bike that portrays Hilo was purchased by the Dozerfleet founder's family, primarily for his father's use, in 1991. It remained in the family's possession for over 30 years since then. This same bike was also borrowed by the Dozerfleet founder, for use in Ciem: Inferno: The Grand Tour in 2019.

In-universe
Hilo is first of the bikes attached to the rack hooked up to a Ford Windstar van to actually speak. He gets confused by Ackro and Colly's attempts at rational discussion, and then redirects their conversation topics to criticizing NASA. He later discusses his dream of nuking Mecca, though the other two dismiss him as crazy. He finally resigns himself to silently waiting to be unlatched, and ridden along the lakeside trail.

Months later, he is holding a "battle strategy meeting" with Bludger, Clove, and Baron in a pole barn near the old Grand Ledge house. Ackro interrupts the meeting, and tries to point out to them the absurdity of their plans. However, Bludger is undeterred by Ackro's criticisms. Hilo's wild tangents of thoughts include werewolves, crescent moons, Martians, UFOs, cannons, nuclear bombs, and Muhammad being a vampire. After Ackro decides to slink away from the conversation, Hilo's fate remains unknown.

Personality
Hilo is a Southern-accented warmonger of a bike. He glorifies the thought of war, and dreams of being the one who destroys the entire Middle East. He hates Islamofascism with a passion, and frequently fantasizes about nuking Mecca. He suffers from many delusions; such as believing that Muhammad is a vampire - and that grease smudges on the concrete floor of his home pole barn represent a usable map of Saudi Arabia for planning his war strategies.

Trivia

 * He is a stereotype / parody of leftist beliefs about the Bush administration's attitude about the Middle East in 2003 and 2004.
 * His voice was inspired by that of Matt Hullum as Sarge in Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles.