Boozer (song)

''The following is about the Every Ape and His Brother song "Boozer." For actual boozers, see alcoholism. For other uses, see Boozer (disambiguation).''

"Boozer" is a song off the Every Ape and His Brother album Poss Window. It is a parody of "Loser" by 3 Doors Down, and returns the Every Ape franchise back to its true form. Instead of a song about the evils of cocaine addiction, this song is about a cop-turned-vigilante losing his sanity in a "He Who Fights Monsters" scenario with a drunk driver.

History
Around the height of 3 Doors Down's popularity in 2000, the Dozerfleet founder first heard "Loser" playing in 101.7 FM in the Lansing area. Thoughts immediately drifted, and the song soon became "Boozer," about a cop contemplating pushing a drunk driver off the highway by sideswiping him into a ditch. Around that same time, the song "Kryptonite" inspired the "Mr. Kryptonite Head" figure that would later feature in a tutorial website dubbed ''Kurse of the Kryptonite."

Only the chorus of "Boozer" was complete, as the song lingered for years existing only in the Dozerfleet founder's mind. On March 5th of 2012, the full parody was completed. Lyrics were done being drafted around 11:30 PM EST that Monday evening. The parody was submitted to AmIRight around 11:56 PM EST for rating and evaluation.

Story
One evening, a cop who has been stressed to the point of losing his sanity begins chasing down a particularly dangerous felon whose escaped in a stolen car. That felon has been drinking quite a bit; making the felon's driving particularly erratic. Unable to call for backup, the desperate cop begins to consider vigilante-style execution a valid means of dealing with the problem. As his personal hatred for the drunk and fleeing felon reaches a boiling point, the cop's resolve to do the unthinkable escalates his descent into madness.

The story is from the exasperated cop's point of view, exposing the twisted logic he uses to justify his premeditated actions while he curses his victim. It ends with the cop reduced to both a murderer and a raving lunatic.