All My Ducks Are Pekins

"All My Ducks Are Pekins" is a song off the Every Ape and His Brother album The Sent-In Clowns. It is a parody of "Heathens" by Twenty-One Pilots.

Background
The song was first developed crudely back in 2017, as a potential final part of the DJ Duckslaughter trilogy that began with "The Only Resort" in 2003 and continued on with "Meat Cleaver" in the 2010s. However, it wouldn't be until May of 2021 that the lyrics were finalized. A video of it was uploaded to YouTube on May 11th of that year, though it received very little fanfare.

Story
Taking a break from the heavy political themes of most of the album, this song tells the story of DJ Duckslaughter training a protege in the art of butchering poultry. That year, he only purchased a crop of pekins for harvesting, skipping his chance to experiment with other birds. He walks the apprentice through several steps of the butchering process, and warns him not to forget the plastic bucket to put their bodies into immediately after their heads are chopped off. He mentions pen maintenance, how easily ducks are agitated, what they taste like, advice on how to cook them, and then warns his apprentice after a failure to secure a plastic bucket that duck blood will stain clothes horribly. He finishes up by having the birds taken to a large canister of boiling water, so that the birds can be dipped to loosen their feathers for plucking. He promises that their flavorful meat will more than make up for the hard effort involved in removing their feathers.