Drank the Pantry Way Too Zune

"Drank the Pantry Way Too Zune" of Ferris in Focus is the seventh episode of FiF's spring 2010 semester. It was scheduled for completion at 9:00 AM EST on March 29th and broadcast on April 3rd of 2010.

Big Rapids Life

 * Producer: David Stiefel
 * Editor: Megan Barker

This piece wound up being a re-run. The show was almost ground to a halt. In order to save face, TDMP instructor Glen had the Dozerfleet founder provide three playable DVD copies of the controversial Big Rapids Life segment, so that TDMP could defend itself against Mary's allegations. A former client of the food pantry, here kept anonymous, even tipped off the Dozerfleet founder that Mary "is extremely mean, and prejudiced against Ferris students to begin with."

A lady who will only be referred to here as “Mary” started a food pantry in Big Rapids with the aid of three social workers, at least one of which went to Ferris. They all got together to make a food pantry for starving families in the Big Rapids area, since a lot of young couples couldn’t wait till graduation before making babies and were too deep in poverty to support families. Adding to the problem: the economy. Making it worse: single moms who were already on welfare.

All that needs be said is that the piece was made to-spec with what was asked, only for Mary to say she didn’t like it because it wasn’t Disney-enough for her standards. She feared it wouldn't convince Pepsi to give her a grant. She demanded something that looked like a billion dollars, promoting her itty-bitty, no-account food pantry. Instead, she got a typical production house product—and didn’t pay a cent for it. But felt entitled to complain that it was “all wrong…” somehow.

She drove the knife further by digging up Megan’s maiden name, and refusing to refer to Megan by her married name when writing up her review. This segment was replaced with another segment from another episode, as that one was aired in the place of this one.

A woman of such malcontent, behaving with such treachery to a bunch of students who broke their bottoms getting that piece made for her—even making personal attacks on the students—is fortunate that her last name is not mentioned on this wiki. As such, no further details on the project itself will be shared here either.

To give the actual project its due coverage would be to vindicate that woman’s attitude—one which hypocritically declared the entire TDMP program at Ferris “unprofessional” in her unprofessional manner—even as a number of experts quickly disagreed with her. Expect other food pantries in the area to get more respect in future installments of Big Rapids Life, since the one in this piece threw away its chance.

A DVD was compiled, titled: TDMP vs. Mary. With a courtroom-style scale watermark background, the DVD laid out a case for the TDMP in case Mary tried to take her sudden anti-TDMP tirade any further. Thankfully, nothing came of that. Megan and the Dozerfleet founder offered to re-do the piece for Mary, but Glen said: “Forget it.”

Health Matters

 * Producer: Kelly Deward (as Kelly Armbruster)
 * Editor: Eric Stacy

Cindy Horn, Director of University Recreation, jumped in right away to say: “Use of this gym has countless benefits! Because we’ve got all kinds of stuff to exercise with! We’ve got weights! We’ve got bikes! We’ve got treadmills! We’ve got basketball! We’ve got it all; and we’ve got it now!”

Justin Barriger, a Welding Engineering student, gave his own thumbs up to use of the weight room. He liked the track area and exercise bikes too. Cassie, the same Cassie that played Monica Shelly in Blood Over Water and was convinced she didn’t want her real name revealed anywhere—when this wiki would’ve done so—was a little too comfortable having her real name plastered on her title card for this piece just because the Dozerfleet founder wasn’t the one filming her. She claimed to enjoy running for about half an hour every day.

Amber Porter, an Advertising Major, liked the ellipticals a lot. Bradley Sheffield, in Printing Management, liked the atmosphere. TDMP student Jon Stepanski pitched in his love of the rock climbing room. According to Business major Rochelle Blue, the Rec Center’s main purpose is to actually keep students active doing one thing or another; rather than lounging around or making trouble.

Cindy reminded viewers that it’s not just Greek gods that go to the gym; but globs and blobs also.

E-News

 * Producer: Nick Blohm
 * Editor: Frank Molner

First off, Mark covered Tiger Woods claiming he wanted to return to golfing. This was after Tiger’s marriage began falling apart following his numerous sex scandals.

He followed up by talking about The Thing being released, as well as a plug for Tron: Legacy. Then, he added in that Predators was going to be released in theaters, directed by Robert Rodriguez. As he finished, a Predator target beam zeroed in on his chest.

Program Spotlight

 * Producer: Dominique Gibbs
 * Editor: Lamarr English

It all begins with biology, then branches out from there. This piece covered the very lengthy topic of how the Biology Major turns into majors for other related sciences. A lot of students in the program end up in pre-veterinary science.

Dr. Friar commented: “What you hear, you’ll forget. What you see; you’ll remember. What you do, you’ll grow to understand.” And that summarizes how hands-on biology-related majors at Ferris really are.

Friar doubled up by stating the obvious: “Seeing red cells here and blue cells there makes it a lot more meaningful than hearing someone say there’s a red one and a blue one.”

One professor actually stated that a lot of the staff in the biology program were at one point doctors. In fact, he even claimed the school keeps a full-time pooch doctor handy to teach students how to keep their mutts alive.

Bulldog Stories

 * Producer: Sara Potter (as Sara Tuttle)
 * Editor: Nate Totten

Jackie stated her primary reason for attending Ferris was the cross-country track program. She made most of her early friends in cross-country also; and claims that everything she does can be traced back to how her freshman year went when she befriended the cross-country team.

After two years being undecided, she took on a speech-related major. Miss Motormouth went on to mention her time in the Zeta Tau Alpha sorority. Track students are told not to join Greek houses, but that didn’t stop her. WGRD (97.9) in Grand Rapids even taught her a few basics of being a radio show host. She stated that the company that WGRD is a part of also owned several stations in New York; and that she’d want to eventually go to one of those stations.

Versus

 * Producer: Nick Blohm
 * Editor: Frank Molner

Nick took the side of Zune Pass, stating you could get a lot of stuff from it—almost unlimited downloads—provided you had $15 a month to blow on it. Zune lets you keep ten songs a month that never expire; but it will nuke all your music immediately once you stop paying for it; including songs you already paid for.

Andrika still shrugged off the offer, since iTunes allows access to over 10 million songs as opposed to the mere 4.6 million offered by Zune. However, Nick countered that there’s a plus to Zune’s method over that employed by iTunes: Zune’s method allows you to put a lot of songs on a Zune unit without having to pay a ton of money. Filling a full-sized iPod with all legally-downloaded songs would cost about $30,000. However, a Zune filled entirely with as much music as an iPod can hold would, to keep it at that level, require someone to pay $45,000 over the course of 250 years.

Zune doesn’t allow anyone to burn CD’s also; but it does connect to the Xbox. By contrast, iTunes does allow CD burning. Yet, an iTunes app for the Xbox has yet to be invented.

What Do You Think?

 * Producer: Sara Potter (as Sara Tuttle)
 * Editor: Nate Totten

When asked how many Ferris students practice safe behaviors when drinking, answers ranged from 80%, to 40% to 5% in polling. The actual number was revealed to be 99%, which confused at least one poll partaker.

Concerning cigarette smoking, those same individuals were asked how many students had never smoked. Answers were 20%, 40%, 50%, 90%, and 10%. The real answer was 63%.

Answers for “How many have only ever had one sexual partner?” were 25%, 10%, 40%, and 10%. The real number is 52%. One girl commented: “Lucky for them,” which may or may not have been an indication of her character.

When asked how many had never smoked weed, answers ranged: 50%, 20%, 40%, and 25-30%. The real number is 70%.

Now Demonstrating

 * Producer: Tabby Young
 * Editor: Ben Wyman

With absolutely nothing better to talk about, Tabby had a lady in town tell everyone how to do laundry.


 * 1) Gather all dirty clothes from around the house. (Make sure to check under the bed.)
 * 2) Dump the dirty clothes into a washer near you.  Or go to a laundromat if you don’t have one.
 * 3) Sorting by color and wash type helps.
 * 4) Figure out which pile is gonna be washed first, and add spot remover wherever necessary.  For best results, use an old toothbrush.
 * 5) Add detergent, pick a setting, and wait.
 * 6) Add dryer sheet, plop stuff in dryer, pick a setting, and wait.
 * 7) Take out early to prevent wrinkles.