Witnessed Tomte Killing Off Your Mom

"Witnessed Tomte Killing Off Your Mom" is a music parody off the Every Ape and His Brother album Winter Horrorland. It's a song about the Tomte from The Gerosha Chronicles.

History
The Dozerfleet founder gained inspiration for this song while working at a Meijer store, before Dozerfleet relocated to Florida. The back receiving crew was often complaining in December about how many different renditions of "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" there were, each more nerve-grating than the last, that would play over the in-store radio.

Feeling sympathy for the crew, he drafted this parody to produce a version more palatable to their tastes, replacing the cringe Christmas tune with a Krampusnacht murder drama. However, the final version of "Witnessed Tomte Killing Off Your Mom" wouldn't be completed until after December of 2020, when it was most requested. It was published to the main blog almost immediately after lyrics were finalized, around 8:31 PM EDT on May 16th of 2021.

Story
One man's life is turned upside-down when he learns of the criminal enterprise his relatives were leading behind his back. That is, until their shenanigans went too far, and put them on the Horrorday Gang's list of souls to harvest. Luca goes after the man's uncle, and Jerry goes after the man's father. While Krampus' exact actions go unmentioned, it's assumed he went after other members of that family. Perchta and the Straggele likewise go unmentioned, but can be assumed to be behaving likewise.

The majority of the song is about the man's mother being attacked and eventually slain by the Tomte. A surviving witness who managed to evade the Tomte recounts to the man what he saw of the grisly murder.