Welcome to Unlife

"Welcome to Unlife" is a song off the Every Ape and His Brother album The Sent-In Clowns. It is a parody of "Welcome to My Life" by Simple Plan.

Background
While plans for this song date back to about 2016, the finalized version of it was written on May 19th of 2017. It was submitted to the official Dozerfleet blog in May of 2021.

Story
This song is all about a zombie trying to describe why no one should ever want to be one. The main joke is that for all of Simple Plan's whining in the original about how hard life can be for a teen in the 2000s, at least they're not zombies. Zombies...have legitimate reasons to complain about their existence being terrible.

Trivia

 * In spite Every Ape's nearly 20 years of making songs, "Welcome to Unlife" is only the second song to be explicitly about zombies or a zombie apocalypse; the first being "Baby, You're Dead Inside."
 * This is the first song to feature a male zombie as the main character. While the titular "Morbid" character in the album Morbid! The Horrendous Hobo!!! is a zombie, he doesn't actually feature in any songs on that album.
 * Not counting the zombie girl in the above aforementioned Krampusnacht tune, the zombie in this song could easily join the werewolf in "On the Ethics of Creating Werewolves" for the beginnings of a Halloween-ready compilation.
 * As of the writing of this parody, the Every Ape collection is still surprisingly absent of any vampires to accompany the werewolf and zombies.
 * However, there are a number of serial killers that could feature in a Halloween compilation. These include the homicidal clown girl from "Ridiculous," DJ Duckslaughter, the insane couple from "The Hundred-Acre Woodland Massacre," the Serial Bomber and his apprentice, the Horrorday Gang, the killer cop from "Boozer," Shoop-Da-Whoop Elsa, the Globalists mentioned in "The Cursed Reset," and some of the election thieves alluded to in "The Trumpower."