Too Many Princesses

"Too Many Princesses" is a song off the Every Ape and His Brother album The Sent-In Clowns. It is also proposed as a song that could feature in Camelorum Adventures. It's a parody of "Two Princes" by Spin Doctors.

Background
The original image was uploaded to DeviantArt on September 17th of 2015. This was still a highly experimental time in the development of Camelorum, and not all canon had been solidified yet. The song was later added in May of 2021 to The Sent-In Clowns, in a scramble to ensure the album's completion.

Story
On karaoke day at the prison, the inmates challenge Candace to make a "Two Princes" parody that explains why the man she wants should choose her over any of the other women. She happily accepts the challenge, and introduces listeners to the personality quirks of various other female inmates. She claims that none of the other women like him like she does, and aren't worth considering. The experimental AI robot prisoner Androida is mocked as "missing a few sprockets," prompting a response of "MALFUNCTION ALERT!!!!"

Candace makes fun of Luin's plans to take over the world, then makes fun of Beatrice's pink mohawk. Luin is mildly insulted by being told that the world will never be enough to satisfy her; while Beatrice doesn't deny that her hair looks silly. Candace then claims that the staff of Camelorum would not appreciate her unspoken lover wasting his time with any of the other women, whereas they'd look the other way if he got with her. She admits that her plan after getting out is to run an orchard; which is hardly what most men would want in a wife. However, she goes on to state that she'd be willing to travel and experiment too, and that she's not entirely opposed to having children, nor to experimenting with kinks.

She proceeds to claim the other women might steal from him, or might talk to crickets. Barry inquires how the last accusation would make any sense, and for whom. Candace finishes off the song, and the other inmates are too stunned to respond.

Reception
The original image, from the time of upload until 2021, received only 3 favorites. It also had been viewed 368 times.